I spent big money on my Mini Cooper S... then a van wrote it off

It turns out these R53s are stuck in a kind of purgatory between new cars and classics when it comes to parts supply. BMW is pretty good at supporting them, but for these Minis – similarly to E46 BMWs and the like – a number of parts are no longer available. Add in plenty of rusty bolts and my car ended up spending a good few weeks at the garage.

Serviced, MOT’d and with plenty of new suspension bits, it certainly felt better than before. I love the supercharger whine, quick chassis responses, communicative steering and manual gearbox. But at the same time I have some doubts.

The garage recommended going with OEM Sachs dampers, so that’s what I had them fit. While the car is more composed and less ragged, the ride is still pretty crashy. A modern Mini is firmer but doesn’t clatter over expansion joints like mine. 

Should I have gone with an aftermarket upgrade like a Bilstein, or is something else not right? I’m not sure, but I’m not keen on redoing a bunch of stuff, and there is still a list of powertrain-related ills to attend to, like the supercharger service and the engine mounts.

What’s big, orange and headache inducing?

Whose car alarm is that going off? Is that my Mini's? I had better check. And just as I was coming down the stairs, I was greeted by an apologetic Sainsbury's delivery driver who had reversed his van into the side of my car as he was threading it down the narrow lane on which I lived at the time.

After getting the suspension sorted out, the next stage was to get the rusty exhaust replaced and the supercharger serviced, but all of that was put on hold as I dealt with the aftermath of what seemed like a minor incident. 

After all, the extent of the damage was an ugly dent and a few mullered but easily replaceable plastic panels. To the driver's credit, he didn't do a runner, but he didn't have his approved accident form with him and was reluctant to give details.

Still, you would imagine that such incidents happen regularly and supermarkets would have a well-oiled protocol for dealing with them. Instead, it took weeks to get hold of Sainsbury's relevant insurance person, who then informed me that they had up to 90 days to 'investigate'. 

I didn't have video footage, but I did take a picture of the van with a busted rear light next to my maimed Mini – a pretty open-and-shut case, I should think. I probably could have got my insurance to deal with it but, given that I obviously wasn't at fault and am in the lucky position of having other cars to drive, I let it run its course which ran, and ran, and ran.

Perseverance pays off

After two months and much chasing, Sainsbury's insurance (finally) concluded that, yes, the van driver who hit my parked car was at fault. At that point, they handed it over to my insurance company to deal with the rest. 

After a phone call, it was quickly assumed the car would be a write-off, because insurance companies usually can't be bothered to find an economical way to repair older cars. Even more worryingly, they wanted it to be collected by Copart – which runs salvage car auctions – to be inspected.

I pointed out that this would be a massive waste of everyone's time and money compared with a person coming round to look at the car, or me sending over some pictures, but they wouldn't budge. 

My experience with Copart wasn't too bad. The guys collecting it with a big car transporter were nice enough. The following week I was called to be told they wanted to declare it a Category S (for structural damage). I argued that a bit of panel damage is not structural, so they listened and changed it to Cat N (non-structural), bumping up the payout slightly.

Just over £2000 promptly appeared in my bank account (I wonder if I can claim Nectar points on that), with the Mini due to be delivered back to me.

As a car reviewer, I get delivered cars quite often, but I've never been as excited as I was for the Mini to return. It came on a multi-car transporter, and in the same condition it left. They even washed it – not very well, but it's the thought that counts.